Budget Travel Intentions says goodbye
“All good things must come to an end.”
The words of a popular, well-known cliché are often used to deal with disappointment or change during a transition in our lives. Most of the time, it’s used when a great experience in our life is no longer as good as it used to be so we use this euphemism to make ourselves or others feel better.
So it is with this blog – Budget Travel Intentions. It is now coming to an end.
Today is the last day of Budget Travel Intentions. The end of this travel blog doesn’t mean it’s the end of budget travel, family travel, or travel tips for me. And quiet honestly, the cliché above just doesn’t apply in the way most people use the phrase. Yes, this blog is coming to an end. However, something better is on the way.
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I never dreamed of being a writer. After all, did anyone ever dream that they would write an online blog about travel? Growing up, the serious journalism students wanted to write for newspapers and magazines. That’s all changed. Even with the recent popularity of online information and media, this was never a dream.
A while back, I talked about the search for job satisfaction and how I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Honestly, my dream was to play baseball. I played all four years in high school and had a chance to play in college. But I just wasn’t good enough. I moved on to college, got my degree, and began working.
As a kid I traveled with my family but my first real airplane experience didn’t happen until I was 20 years old. That was the trip to Estonia. I talked about how that trip to Estonia changed me. Years later, I traveled many times all over Europe and have seen most of the US. I grew to love travel. However, it was a struggle just to keep a journal on any of my trips.
Growing up, I didn’t like to write. Like everyone else, I had to write papers for English and History classes. I also had to write a thesis for college. However, my degree was in accounting. There just isn’t much writing that goes on. Back in college, I did write the story about The Crush. However, less than 5 people had read that story until I finally shared it – 13 years after I wrote it.
Finally in 2009, I was looking online for different job opportunities and got the chance to write about budget travel here in Sacramento – a topic I know very well. Since I am really good with money, quite frugal, and love to plan and save money on trips, it seemed like a great idea. I never knew how much I would love it.
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Since that first budget travel article in 2009 on Fall getaways in northern California, I slowly began to write and build up a number of articles on travel tips and deals as well as tips and stories from my own travels. For me, it was always a professional type of writing in which I shared information and tried to be as objective as I could.
Many months later in April 2010, I started Budget Travel Intentions as a more personal approach to my travel writing. It sat on the back-burner for a while until I finally started producing more content for it in August. In total, I’ve written over 400 posts on travel in less than a year and a half. It’s been busy, fun, challenging, discouraging, and rewarding.
As I continued to write, one of the best things to come out of this has been the travel community on Twitter, Facebook, and various travel forums. My passion to write began to grow and new ideas were forming. It’s impossible to share all the things I have learned or how fulfilling this has been. Yet I am only getting started.
I’ve done all of this working a full-time job while being a husband and a father to two young kids. If that’s not enough, I’ve been a part of various volunteer stuff that takes up quite a few hours a month. In all of that, I’ve lost a lot of sleep, doubled the hours I’ve worked (work and blog combined), and did it all for very little pay – enough for a nice dinner with the family once or twice a month. And you know what? I’ve never enjoyed anything more in my life. Travel writing/blogging is my passion (despite the occasional burnout).
So what have I done lately to celebrate this passion? I haven’t written for my Sacramento Budget Travel page in over a month and now Budget Travel Intentions is saying goodbye.
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For the last two months, I’ve been working on a brand new blog that will launch on Monday. I’ve spent many hours working on this, never realizing how difficult it would be. I’ve had weeks where I would only get 3 to 4 hours sleep a night only to work a full day and not get home until late. Many nights I fell asleep on the couch from exhaustion after the kids went to bed. I would wake up, get on the computer, work on the new blog some more until 3 or 4 in the morning, and wake up 3 or 4 hours later to do it all over again.
However, I am excited. My passion has grown. I have ideas I am excited about. I will bring new features to the travel blog. The new site will be a combination of Budget Travel Intentions and my Sacramento Budget Travel Examiner page as well as the new material and ideas. I may be a small fish in a big pond of amazing travel bloggers and writers but I think I can find my niche as well.
No, I am not traveling around the world or even taking long vacations to 6 countries at a time any more. However, this new blog will offer something to travelers. It will still provide the tips, deals, guest posts, and destination information. However, the new blog will use travel to challenge people on how they live their lives. It will help people struggling with finances or seeking some help in the area of money – for travel and every day life. And it will inspire, challenge, and motivate people to not only travel but be better human beings.
Budget Travel Intentions is saying goodbye…but it’s really a good thing.
Saying goodbye (Flickr: gyros)
For anyone who has spent time traveling, we have had our share of awkward moments. Hopefully, most of our travel experiences have been good ones. However, some are low points and we need to reflect on the learning experiences as well. Sometimes, we just have a moment where we are really embarrassed about something we said or did or just something that happened. Those can be great memories to look back on and laugh.
What is your most embarrassing travel moment?
A few years ago, I was hiking along the southern coast of Portugal and wandered upon a nude beach. Like most nude beaches, it was quite tasteful. As an American, it’s a bit of a shock and adjustment seeing people fully naked people on the beach. Honestly, it was a beautiful stretch of beach and was surrounded by the cliffs. No wonder it was a nude beach because you really had to know it was there in order to discover it.
After two hours and a lot of courage, I decided to participate. And I mean fully participate. I figured this would be one of the only chances I ever had to spend on a nude beach. And quite honestly, I was embarrassed – but not for the reasons you think.
When you are on a beach surrounded by tan people, you might be a little wary of taking your shirt off or walking around in a bathing suit if you haven’t spent much time in the sun. When you aren’t wearing anything, multiply that feeling times 10 and you are really aware of how white you are when nude people have all over tans. On that beach in Portugal, I was actually embarrassed to be there as white as I was. It was for that reason, and not the nudity, that I was ashamed and embarrased. To add to the embarrassment, I ran out of sunscreen (I had to apply A LOT) and had to ask a British family for more before I hiked back.
Looking back, it was an interesting and fun experience. My lack of skin color was more embarrassing than my lack of clothing. But I won’t forget my nude beach experience in Portugal (Check out more of my experiences in my Spain and Portugal journal).
So I’ve shared my moment. What’s your most embarrassing moment you have had while traveling?
Want to share your photo of your embarrassing or compromising moment? Do so and you can win a $50 iTunes gift card from Todd Wassel.
Australia on my mind
With the tragic news of the floods in Brisbane and Queensland this past week, Australia has been on my mind. Many people have seen the videos and images of the floods that destroyed homes and killed a number of people in Australia. The damage is massive, the death toll is heart-breaking, and the recovery will take many years.
Out of this tragedy, a number of stories have emerged including the story of a 13 year old boy who told rescuers to save his 10 year old brother first only to be swept away to his death moments later. I’ve seen images of horses struggling to stay above the water, people with their belongings on top of their homes, and homes and cars washed away. A tragedy like this doesn’t have a lot of happy endings.
In the midst of conflict or tragedy, it offers the chance for humans to overcome, learn something from these events, and help out one another. It’s this human spirit that encourages us. It’s with that in mind I wrote about photos of the valley this past week. And it’s why people in Australia need our help.
The San Francisco earthquake and 9/11
Native Australians Caz and Craig Makepeace are travel bloggers who are currently back home in Australia. Their hearts have been moved by the tragedy and they’ve written a couple of posts this week encouraging people to help out and urging Queenslanders to remain strong and overcome.
The day after the tragedy struck, I saw a documentary on the lives of people in the San Francisco earthquake of 1989. You see the video footage as the earthquake happens and the damage that was inflicted upon this city by this natural disaster.
The show documented the lives of people that were trapped, rescuers who risked their lives to save people, and common ordinary folks helping out. In this story, the unity of the people amazed me as citizens directed traffic in place of policemen who were assisting in the rescue efforts, ordinary people carrying hoses from the water to the Marina district to help to fight fires, and neighborhoods coming together and risking their lives to rescue people from the Cypress bridge collapse.
A little more than ten years later and we see again how people unite in the midst of tragedy. There are hundreds of told and untold stories from the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001. In the midst of tragedy, people risked their lives to help others. It didn’t matter that it was New York City. All Americans were affected that day. I’ve never seen the nation so united.
Like 9/11 and the San Francisco earthquake, let’s hope Australians unite and rebuild as well.
Australian memories, the Australian Open, and the birth of a son
I’ve never been to Australia but I feel really connected to the country.
In 2004, my then-girlfriend went to Australia and New Zealand in 2004 to celebrate her birthday. Nearly every day, I was making calls to Australia to find out what she did that day and to hear what it was like. From Sydney to Cairns to Melbourne, I got to travel with her on that trip and was excited to meet her at the airport on the way home. It was that trip home from Australia and New Zealand that I met her family for the first time.
I am a big sports fan but just a casual fan of tennis. However, this time last year, I found myself glued to the TV every night watching the Australian Open. Night after night, I stayed up late watching matches. It was just before midnight on January 19 and I was watching another exciting match when it was time to go to the hospital.
That girlfriend who had gone to Australia in 2004 was now my wife and was ready to give birth to our second child. And as we waited for him to arrive, I turned on the TV to watch more of the Australian Open. With one of the best matches of the tournament being played (Juan Martin del Potro vs James Blake), my son was born at 3:32 am. This week marks his 1st birthday. As we celebrate the first year of his life, the day of his birth will always be linked to memories of the Australian Open.
The 2011 Australian Open begins on Monday. I am sure many of the players, fans, and announcers will be remembering the tragedy of the floods. As England and Australia come together for cricket, England’s players committed to donating part of their match fees to the flood victims.
Hopefully, these sporting events will be an opportunity for the world to come together and help out the country. In the midst of tragedy, there may not be a better time for the Australian Open and sports to make a difference.
Australia on my mind
This past week, Australia has been on my mind due to the tragedy with the floods and deaths in the country. This coming week, Australia will be on my mind as it’s associated with one of the best days of my life – the birth of my son. It’s strange that two of the best things in my life (my son and my wife) are linked to Australia. Yet sadly, so is tragedy.
From the tragedy of the floods to the triumph of sports, Australia is in the spotlight. For me, this is a time to celebrate and remember Australia. If Australia is on your mind, please donate to help out the victims of the floods in Brisbane.
If you want to help, here’s more information on how you can donate – Queensland Floods.
Bay Bridge (Flickr: sanbeiji), Australian Open (Flickr: jojof)
Travel photo of the week – Big Lake, AZ
It’s been a long time since I’ve done the travel photo of the week. However, I’ve been inspired lately and want to share a guest photo for this week to inspire people as they are suffering through cold, rain, and snow.
This week’s photo comes to us from Jessalyn Pinneo – Big Lake, Arizona.
This photo was taken at Big Lake, Arizona, USA (no really, that’s what it’s called!), in the northeastern part of the state. I like that it encompasses so many things that I love about fall: the sky is blue, not yet the gray of winter; the sun is shining, bright enough to sparkle off the surface of the lake and strong enough to burn some of the chill out of the air without the blinding heat of summer; the aspen leaves are going to flame and rustling as the fall breeze blows through them. It’s a moment of comfort and beauty, captured in a frame.
Read more about Jessica on her blog at Diary of a Wandering Student where she seeks to explore the human aspect that makes travel so wonderfully unpredictable, delving into the cultures of the places I travel and the people who embody them.
Follow here on Twitter at @Nomad_Student.
Would you like your photo to be featured in the Travel Photo of the week?
Include your name, photo, blog, what you liked about the photo, and a brief intro about your site. Please submit your photos to budgettravelsac@yahoo.com. I need you to share more of the places you love and the photos you’ve taken! I’ve seen enough of my own photos so don’t make me post those!
Photos of the valley
From the first days of planning that trip to the day when it’s time to finally leave for the long-awaited vacation, travel is exciting.
I remember when I was in college, I decided on a whim that I was going to Estonia. I had two months to find the money, get my passport (I had never had one before), and get all the things I would need for the trip. When the day finally came to fly from Atlanta to Tallinn, I couldn’t wait to land.
Upon arriving in Estonia, every one of us were in awe that we were actually in a former part of the Soviet Union. And all around us, there were many examples of the communist regime that had ruled just a few short years earlier. Being in a new place, seeing new sights, discovering history, tasting new foods, hearing a different language – nothing can be more exciting to a traveler. Especially if you are experiencing a different culture in a foreign land for the first time.
The trip is a whirlwind of experiences, sights, activities, and people. You’re tired but it’s a good tired. And as the trip comes to an end and it is time to head home, you savor the last few moments of that trip.
You get home, try to recover from jet lag, and are so excited that you relive your memories by sharing with friends and family. You are already thinking about that next trip. Then reality sets in and you get back to the daily grind. Your memories and pictures of that trip are treasured and you are so moved by that experience, you can’t wait to travel again.
The mountain top experience
The photo above is me finishing a 5 1/2 hour hike – an elevation climb of 2,000 feet up to the 10,000 foot peak of Round Top. Some of my best photos from that hike were the views from the top of various lakes, the Sierra Nevadas, and Lake Tahoe.
The photo above was taken near the end of the hike showing what I had accomplished. One of my favorite photos (seen in A new year, a new challenge, a new direction, and a new blog) is the view from the top. Both of these photos reveal how many of us look back on our vacations – our favorite memories from the high points of the trip and the picturesque ones that make our trip look so beautiful.
Our memories are like those travel photos – remembering the best moments and celebrating what we did when it was all over. But do you ever remember this photo?
Reflections from the valley
This is the photo of that steep uphill climb after hiking for 2 hours, unsure if I can finish the task. This is that photo where we were so sick from food poisoning that we didn’t think we would make it. This is that photo that shows us lost, not knowing where to go, in a bad area of town, and no one can help us because we don’t speak the same language. This photo shows us the place where our camera and wallet were stolen leaving us with barely enough money to get through the rest of our trip.
Do we remember these photos?
When we return from our trips, we need to reflect on the valley. Inevitably, every trip has something that didn’t go well and where our resolve was tested. Do we look back on those photos and remember what lessons we learned? Are there travel tips we can use for our next trip?
“Sorry. I didn’t learn anything from getting my money and camera stolen except that there are people out there that will take advantage of a tourist.”
So you didn’t learn anything from that so there is no need to look at the photo right? The great thing about conflict (OK, it’s not great but bear with me) is that even when we can’t do anything to change the situation, it can be a moment where our character is tested and molded in the face of adversity. Maybe there isn’t anything you could learn from it but maybe you became a better person for it because you learned how to cope and get through it.
You want everything to go exactly as planned with no bumps in the road or unexpected turns? Great! Stay home and don’t travel!!
I recently read a story about Todd Wassel who almost died on a boat in Vietnam. He survived – 70 others didn’t. Could he have done things differently to prevent the near tragedy in his life? Aside from not getting on the boat, could he have prevented the hurricane? So what did he learn from the experience? Todd’s biggest lesson? Maybe it was that he survived and has the scars to prove it. Scars develop character.
While our mountaintop and picturesque photos are the ones we love to look at when the vacation is over, we need to remember those photos in the valley as well – looking straight up the mountain at the painful climb we had to endure.
Sometimes there aren’t lessons to be learned. Sometimes these moments just teach our character to endure. These are great photos too.
Travel Tuesday question of the week – what’s your favorite source of travel information?
Over the last 20 years or so, the travel industry has changed a lot. Much of our travel information came from brochures, magazines, and books while our travel was booked through travel agents.
These days, travel information comes from a variety of sources. Now, most of our travel information is on the internet. And for a majority of people, travel is now booked online as well. Websites, search engines, airfares, and internet travel information are now the main sources of our travel for many people. Beyond information on the internet, travel has extended to social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and more. TV shows, youtube, travel blogs, and iPods are other aspects of travel that have taken off in the last few years and been one of the fastest growing markets for travel information.
With all the travel information that is out there, what’s your favorite source of travel information?
For as much as I love travel blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and technology, my favorite source of travel is the written word in my hands – books and magazines. I may be a bit old-fashioned but I enjoy reading up on a destination with a book in my hand or carrying a guidebook around when I travel. I appreciate all the technology and information that is available but nothing beats a good travel book or magazine.
What do you use for travel? Do you like more traditional methods of information or is technology a bigger source of your travel information?
A purpose driven (travel) life
It’s interesting how each one of us has different personalities and ways we like to travel. I tried to wrap my mind around this a few months ago with the psychology of travel where I listed the pros, cons, and motivations of travel.
So I guess this process for me has been evolving. This week, I talked about making some changes, starting a new blog, and going in a different direction. Well I just finished a book last night that really got me thinking about life – and travel.
Warning: This is another one of those philosophical/meaning of life posts on travel that might challenge you, make you uncomfortable, or make you mad. So keep reading.
The trip of a lifetime
It’s been a tough few months for you. Family issues, relationship problems, and contemplating your future. However, these last few weeks all the stress is over as everything has settled down, you’ve got great friends and family in your life, and you decided to quit your job and travel for a few months.
Your trip begins with soft sand between your toes, crystal blue waters, and a quiet getaway on the beach. You spend a few days soaking up the sun and warm waters, enjoying the food, and restoring your soul as you prepare for your journey.
One day, you decide to head into the countryside to see what else is around. You pass through a rural village and see kids playing football in the street without shoes. It’s great that these kids have such great energy and are so used to being outside that they don’t even need shoes. Their youthful exuberance and charming faces have turned your observation into child-like enthusiasm. So after a few minutes , you join in and enjoy a game of football with them.
After playing for a while, you look a little closely at the village. You realize how poor the conditions are as homes consist of nothing more than a badly patched roof and mud floor. You notice that the kids seem small for their ages and a little malnourished. After spending time with them, you wonder why there are no adults around. But it’s a quaint rural village in a distant country and you are excited that you got to experience the local village culture.
After saying your goodbyes, you head a few miles away and meet a couple of foreigners who are dirty and sweaty. You strike up a conversation and find out that the village you just passed doesn’t have water, the crops are dying, and many of the adults aren’t educated and are struggling to find work. The foreigners you meet are village volunteers who have only been in town a couple of weeks. It’s hard work, there aren’t many volunteers, and supplies and money are limited.
You head back to your hotel and are struggling with the things you saw. You want to do something but you don’t have a lot of money or time and you just started your long journey. Tomorrow is your last day here before you move on to your next destination.
Fulfillment or Purpose
In our lives, do we seek fulfillment or purpose? Is life about achieving our dreams or is the journey more important?
For me, I definitely love routine and comfort. I want to keep my family safe. I want to make sure that I provide for them. I want to be a good, loving, protective father and husband. On the flip side, I like to travel and experience exciting new places and cultures. I don’t seek material things and by no means am I rich. I am quite content with a very simple life. Yet these values seem to conflict with each other – especially when I travel.
Why do we do travel? Is there a purpose to it? Is travel about stimulating our senses to make life exciting? Do we seek comfort when we travel or do we enjoy the challenges and the unexpected? How do we handle it when we see or experience things that make us uncomfortable?
I am wrestling with the idea that travel has to have a purpose beyond the contentment it brings to my life. Do I travel because I enjoy it? Or do I travel because it changes me in the process? If I answer ‘yes’ to both of these, that’s ok. However, if the latter is more important than the former, then my life has purpose.
Is my life about comfort and fulfillment or about purpose and meaning? If I am honest, it’s a little of both with probably more comfort than meaning. And as I wrestle with this idea, I am confronted with all of the things that travel has taught me.
My travels have given me wonderful memories and amazing experiences. It’s also brought frustration, uncomfortable situations, and bad experiences. I don’t like those situations. I want to be comfortable. I don’t want conflict. I don’t want bad experiences. Yet I can’t ignore what travel has shown me.
Travel brings highs and lows. What do I choose to remember about my travel experiences? How I answer that question speaks to what my life and travels are about – fulfillment or purpose?
What does travel mean to you? Do your travels serve a purpose? Are your travels more about the destinations or the journey itself? What do you think about purpose driven travel?
P.S. The story of the beach and the rural village is an illustration and is not based on anyone’s life or any real travel experiences.
Beach photo (Flickr: pasujoba), Kid football photo (Flickr: Eric Vernier)
A new year, a new challenge, a new direction, and a new blog
The new year is finally here and many people have embarked upon their New Year’s resolutions. Not me. I don’t really do those. Quite honestly, I can’t remember the last time I made a New Year’s resolution…or if I’ve ever made one. This year, I even celebrated the New Year by watching HGTV. Um yeah, you can call me the Scrooge of New Year’s as well.
However, this isn’t about a resolution. Resolutions are goals for the new year. I want to talk about changes in my life. Real changes. Real changes that last a lot longer than a few months or a year.
For the last couple of months, I have thought about making some changes to my blog. However, rather than just making a few changes, I decided to re-design it, give it a new name, and go in a different direction.
For the last year, I have written a number of articles as the Sacramento Budget Travel Examiner. I have focused a lot on travel deals, travel tips, and interesting travel news. As a budget traveler, I really am intrigued by this stuff. However, I wanted to expand on that and make my travel writing a little more personal. So I started this blog to share my personal thoughts, stories, and views on traveling from my unique budget and family perspective.
Honestly, the blog is a lot more fun but I had more invested as the travel writer. That is going to change.
A sneak peak at the new blog - still in its early stages of development
Moving in a different direction with a new blog
In thinking about a new direction, I’ve had to figure out what that direction is. That has already started with the brand new blog that will be launched in the next couple of months (if I can find the time to really get this going given all my other responsibilities). I’m still trying to figure out the details of what this blog will be about. However, this much I know.
I will still be doing travel tips because I like that stuff. I will probably focus on travel deals from a budget perspective but for specific locations, hotels, etc rather than an announcement of deals online.
Two strengths of mine are my skills with money and my ability to design and use budgets. By nature, I am detail oriented, like numbers, and frugal. So for my family, I designed this very detailed budget spreadsheet that has helped me save money, get out of debt, put away money for retirement, start my kids’ college fund, and buy a home even though I have a wife, two kids, and only one income while living in very expensive California. I have to admit that playing around with my budget is about as exciting for me as writing about travel. So yeah, that’s a bit of my nerdy side coming through and I think I will do more of that on the new blog.
My family is an essential part of my life and no matter how much I love to travel, my family will be my biggest priority. So my family and family travel will continue to be a big part of my travel blog as well. This next year will see at least three trips planned with family – SC (southern California), SC (South Carolina), and BC (Vancouver for TBEX). And with little kids, some of the best adventures you can have will be ones that are close to home. It’s awesome to experience things again through the eyes of kids.
However, two of the biggest changes for the blog will be a couple of things which have been recurring themes in my life that have now become big challenges for me – inspiring/challenging people in their travels and giving back to others.
So many people write about their travels and the places they visit. I will continue to do that as well but I really want to stir people’s imaginations, challenge them, make them uncomfortable, and use my unique perspective on travel to entertain as well as make people think. So this blog may become a bit more philosophical about travel.
I think a few examples of that have been seen on this blog with my short stories on The Crush, 3 vacations I won’t take, Remembering Yugoslavia – basketball, war, and a nation divided, and others. If you think traveling is all about having fun, relaxing on the beach, and seeing museums, I want to rattle your cage a little to make travel more than just that (and those are really good things).
Another thing I want to do is focus on giving back. I want to raise awareness of some of the needs that people have in this world and focus on things organizations and people are doing to help others. For many who have traveled, they come home unable to see the world the same as before they left. With that understanding comes responsibility. So a big part of the blog will be about awareness, responsibility, and getting people out of their comfort zones.
If you think that this is inspiring or deserves a pat on the back, think again. This isn’t me – I don’t necessarily like this or feel comfortable with this but somewhere deep inside, it’s stirring. And for me, I need to stretch myself to reach out, become a little uncomfortable (OK very uncomfortable), and help others.
I don’t plan on doing this by myself. I want to challenge my family and make them a part of this so the character of my kids will be shaped as well. When my first son was born, I decided my motto for life would be “to live my life in a way that my son(s) become better human beings than me.” This blog is a part of that.
With the new blog and big changes, this journey should be rewarding, scary, and a bit uncomfortable.
A new life, a new challenge
While I’ve already been working on this stuff for a couple of months, these changes come at a great time as I am now going to take part in the 1000-1000 challenge with the new blog set up by Todd Wassel.
What Todd is challenging bloggers to do was already on my mind long before I saw this challenge. However, this isn’t as much about money or visitors as it is challenging myself to live a life that means something, setting an example for my family, and going beyond every day travels to challenge the way other people live as well.
Writing about airline deals, travel tips, Travel Tuesday questions, or Estonian love stories isn’t enough. I need a challenge and a new direction that will allow travel, my family, and my life experiences to give me a purpose that is both fulfilled and challenged by travel.
So I am either bold, dumb, or crazy for sharing this and actually asking for people to keep me accountable to this new direction. Here’s hoping it’s a rewarding journey which will challenge everyone involved – myself, my family, and travelers.
Poverty photo (Flickr: openDemocracy)
With the New Year upon us, it’s time for renewed enthusiasm, aspirations, and goals. While many people make New Year’s resolutions, these resolutions are really a desire to make things better. Whether it’s losing something, putting something behind us, setting a goal, or doing things better or differently, resolutions seek a better quality of life for ourselves and those around us.
Last week, the Travel Tuesday question of the week asked what your New Year’s travel resolutions were for the upcoming year. With our personal goals in sight, now it’s time to look at the bigger picture and think about what resolutions can be made to improve our travel experiences.
If we think back just twenty years ago, so much in travel has changed for the better. There are many more countries available for us to visit and explore. The internet, social media, and technology have made sharing travel, booking travel, and writing about travel so much easier. There are more travel opportunities, tips, vacations, tours, and connections making travel cheaper, more educational, and more meaningful. However, not everything that has happened in travel has been good.
What things about travel would you like to see changed for the upcoming year? It could be a resolution about a specific place or country, how we travel, or something you would like to have when traveling that we don’t have now.
For me, I would love to see a huge change in the airline industry to make it more affordable. As many people know, I write a lot about what is going on with airlines and with airline fees, higher airfares, fewer flights, and controversy over finding flights (American pulls flights from Orbitz, Expedia pulls American Airline flights from its site). Flying anywhere these days is expensive and the costs continue to go up. As a family guy who travels with kids, the cost of a flight can be more expensive than the food, lodging, activities, and sightseeing combined. I would love to see an airline industry that makes flying more affordable once again.
What changes would you like to see in travel? What resolutions could the travel industry, a country, or an area of travel make to improve the quality of our travel experiences?
Share your thoughts and let’s hope our ideas can make travel and the world we live in a better place.
Travel cartoon (Flickr: DrasticJo)
The Crush Part VI – a story of Estonia and love
Continuing the series from The Crush Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, and Part V, Lisa and I have lunch with her parents and all goes well. On my last day there, everything is out in the open – and my trip to Estonia comes to a dramatic conclusion.
The Crush Part VI
I woke the next morning knowing the dilemma I had to face today. Because I had only had a few more hours to spend with Lisa, I decided I wasn’t going to share all the things on my heart and would just try to enjoy our last day together. I know this may be the last time I see her or talk to her. With the other decisions I have to make about my life, it may be a while before I make it back here again.
After a long night of tossing, turning, and thinking, I realized that my life had changed for the best and as much as I loved Lisa, I just didn’t think things would work out. Having made this decision only made the thoughts of my last day with Lisa that much tougher.
“Jeremy, are you ready?”
“On my way down, Lisa. I’m a little nervous about meeting your parents. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”
“You’ll be fine. They’re going to serve us lunch, we’ll chat for a while, and then we can head back here or go and do something together. So don’t worry, things will be great.”
As we made our way towards her house, we had a nice conversation although I was a little quieter than usual. I am not even sure I said a word. Lisa was so busy chatting away, probably trying to hide her own anxiety about me meeting her parents.
As we got closer, all sorts of thoughts floated around in my head. I wondered if her parents thought she was weird for liking this American guy she hardly knew. I wondered how sad Lisa was or if she had thought about me leaving. I wondered how much she truly loved me and wondered what her parents would think of me. Needless to say, we both were a bit nervous and full of emotions as we walked inside.
“Tere!! Mom??”
“Ah, Liis!”
“Tere! Ma nimi an Jeremy,” I said with a nervous, American accent.
“It’s ok, Jeremy” Lisa said as her parents chuckled. “They know english. After all, they are both teachers.”
Despite my embarrassment, I introduced myself to Lisa’s parents – in english – as we all exchanged greeting and hugs. We made our way to the kitchen, getting acquainted, talking, as her mom prepared the dinner. As I nervously imagined, much of the conversation was directed towards me wondering where I was from, what I did, and all kinds of questions about school, life, and interests.
Lisa shared how we met and how we somehow managed to fall in love despite our best efforts to avoid our feelings my first couple of trips. I know Lisa had already shared the story before but I appreciated her trying to take some of the attention off of me. As the afternoon went on, we both settled down and enjoyed the day with her parents.
Lunch was served a little after noon and consisted of seljanka, chicken and rice – a meal especially made with me in mind. The meal was delicious and afterwards, I had the chance to sit down and get to know her family a little better.
They spoke of the days under Communist rule, how life had changed since the break up, and a little about how they grew up as a family. They shared a number of stories about Lisa. Those made her turn red and made me laugh as we enjoyed a wonderful time together. Around three, Lisa and I decided to head out and just spend some time together. I graciously thanked her parents for the lovely meal as we headed out on our own. Lisa and I started back slowly, hoping our slow pace would somehow make the hours go by slower. We laughed and talked, recounted the memories over the last few years and days and walked hand-in-hand back to Pete’s.
“Jeremy, I hate to see you leave. This week has been so wonderful and I have truly grown to love you. I don’t know what will happen from here but I want us to be together.”
“I had a great week as well. Lisa, you are truly beautiful and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met – now that I have gotten past that fiery, sarcastic side. I will definitely miss you and I know that while we are apart, we will truly realize the depth of our feelings. I never expected this to happen and it has really made some decisions in my life difficult for me.”
Lisa began to cry as we got to Pete’s. I held her in my arms and comforted her as she got her composure and wiped away her tears. We spent some time talking outside just trying to enjoy our last few moments together.
“Jeremy, Lisa – I didn’t know you two were back already. How was lunch with her parents?”
“Things went pretty well, Pete. I was nervous at first but once I calmed down, I got a chance to open up and felt very comfortable with them. Lunch was delicious but I think I ate too much.”
“Listen, I am sorry about the other night at the restaurant. I should’ve been happy for you two. After all Jeremy, I must trust that you didn’t rush into things and that you made the right decision. I know that if Lisa is ok with all that has happened in your life then I should be too.”
“Jeremy? What is he talking about? After all the time we spent talking this week, I didn’t realize there were some things you hadn’t told me. What has been going on in your life that I need to know about?”
At that moment, all my worst fears had come true. I stood there scared and unable to move. So much was going on in my head and my thoughts were racing. Why had Pete said something and what was Lisa feeling and thinking right now? I wish I had never come back to Estonia and I regretted ever falling in love with Lisa.
I knew that I wouldn’t see Lisa again and that once I left Estonia, we would never have the relationship we had this week. But now the time had come for me to share everything that had happened and allowing her to share in the events that had changed and transformed my life. Pete knew what was coming and I knew Lisa might not like everything I had to say. Seemed like everything around me was about to fall apart.
“I think I’ll leave you two alone,” said Pete as he headed back inside.
“Have a seat Lisa and I will explain all that has happened to you.”
I began to share my life and how things had changed the day I left Estonia two years ago. From Tallinn, we flew into Frankfurt Germany and stayed in the hotel at the airport. While we were there, Eric, my friend Jon, and myself met a group of Americans who had been overseas to another part of the Soviet Union. We ended up meeting three girls and stayed up all night talking. We all had a blast and it was quite an unexpected and fun way to end our trip.
We ended up exchanging addresses and numbers and kept in touch here and there over the next few months. Eric kept in touch better than I did but I was able to use email to chat and keep in touch. As time went on, I became really close to Erica, one of the girls we met. As time went by, things really began to go well for us and our relationship seemed to deepen. After I got back from Estonia on my second trip, Erica came out and visited. After only a week, we ended up getting engaged.
With a lot of things up in the air about her life, she decided to move and be closer to me. We dated all year but our share of ups and downs had us both questioning our decision to get married. With only a few weeks until the wedding, I decided to come back to Estonia for one last visit.
With all the ups and downs of the past year, I came here to not only visit but to clear my mind and decide if this was really what I wanted. After getting back here, I told Lisa how my feelings for her had grown and that I had really fallen in love with her. We had gotten to know each other so well and had so much in common. But despite our love, this trip confirmed my desire to be with Erica and I knew we belonged together.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I did really grow to love you while I was here but I knew that after I left, you would go your way and I would go mine. Our lives would go on and eventually we would just grow apart. Somewhere down the road I figured I would tell you about Erica. I just wanted to enjoy our time here and try not to hurt you. Only until the last couple of days did I realize that it was Erica I had to be with and that things with us would not work out. Believe me – I do care for you and love you. That is why I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“How could you do this to me!!?! I loved you and gave everything to you this week. But now I don’t want to see or talk to you again!!”
Her tears were streaming as she jumped up and ran home. I only sat there knowing how much I had hurt her. I never meant to do this but I knew there was no way I could comfort her now or make up for anything I said. I spent the rest of the evening packing and thinking, wondering what Lisa was doing, and if she would ever forgive me.
I ate dinner with Pete and told him how everything had gone. Surprisingly, he was understanding and told me I had made the right decision. In my own head and heart, I began to doubt if I really had after seeing how much Lisa was hurt and how horrible I felt just wanting to be there for her.
After dinner, I tried calling Lisa numerous times but no one answered. I was sure even her parents were mad at me now and wished they had never had me over today. After a couple of hours, her mom finally answered the phone and told me Lisa didn’t want to talk to me. In a last desperate attempt, I went over to her house begging to talk to her. I never saw her or even got a goodbye. I was leaving in only a few hours but knew I would never see Lisa again.
The next day, I packed all my things up and headed for the airport. As I headed to my gate, everyone showed up to surprise me and say goodbye – Pete, Ilmar, Dema, Maria, Helena, Meelika. But no Lisa. I got on that plane a broken, hurt man. I knew I had made the right decision. Or so I thought I did. I was sad to go and hurt. I really did love her. But I left wishing I had never come.
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The sun rose early in the morning as I woke from my sleep in my own bed. My first thoughts this morning were of Lisa and the relationship that wasn’t. That week together, our relationship, and the pain seemed all too real.
As I thought about that crush I once had on Lisa, I longed to be back in Estonia again. I missed Pete, Dema, Ilmar, Maria, Helena, and Meelika and especially Lisa. I missed Tartu and Tallinn, the people, and the country. I thought about Lisa and wondered how she was doing. I wondered how she really felt about me and if she really could have loved me. Could we have fallen in love with each other?
While the thoughts and feelings of my dream about Lisa and our relationship still lingered, I knew it was just that – all a dream. Funny how life moves on but we can still hold on so strongly to our memories and feelings from the past. Sometimes the past is so hard to let go of when you just don’t know what could have been. But as real and painful as the dream was, I am glad that even though I can’t do anything about some of those “what if”situations in life, a little bit of my past was brought to mind again never letting me forget the friends, the country, or the crush.
I rolled over and watched Erica as she was sleeping. It was our three-month anniversary today. Maybe one day I will make it back for that third trip to Estonia.
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So that’s my story. No, it’s probably not how people thought it would end. After all, it was a story that never happened. I never went back to Estonia for a third trip. It had all been a dream.
I wrote this story when I was 22 years old. It was all based on a dream I had a few months after I had gotten married. To this day, I still have never seen Lisa or talked to her since that second trip I made there in 1996.
If you are reading this, don’t spoil the ending for anyone else. I know it’s not what you thought it would be. However, tell me what you thought or how you hoped it would end? Did the ending surprise you?
Coming up, I will give you an update on what is really going on in the lives of the people in this Estonian love story. Hope you enjoyed the story! 🙂
Tartu, Estonia photo (jarsjo)
Budget Travel Intentions 